The Anti-Tom’s Guide to Reckless Holiday Shopping
Hello losers, anti-Tom here again.
I last took over the Awareness Dweeb’s blog a few months ago, and now that he’s distracted by the election craziness, I’ve managed to take over once again to rev you up to kick some butt with your holiday shopping.
Let all the sheeple follow the mainstream advice about “staying secure.” You and I know that there are some screaming deals out there and the only way to get them is to take some freaking chances.
Here’s my advice: ignore the cyber-worriers with their statistics about the rise in phishing and the dangers of ransomware. Do you actually know anyone who got ransomware? I don’t!
I sometimes wonder if this whole hysteria about phishing and malware and cybercrime is just made up to keep us in a box. I do what I want when I want. Why? Because it’s the internet baby and the internet is meant to be free!
Anti-Tom's Holiday Shopping Checklist
So here are my tips for putting one over on the cyber-nannies and grabbing some great deals:
Jump on Those Special Offers
Most of these offers expire, so you gotta move fast. When you get the email or text message, click as fast as you can to hoover up the savings.
Passwords Should Be Built for Speed
I like my passwords like I like my cars: small and fast. The fastest login is the one you remember, so use the same simple password everywhere. What’s the key you can hit fastest eight times? Add an exclamation point and stick it to the man.
Downvote the Updates!
Look, we need software to get on the internet, but that doesn’t mean we need to get suckered into those updates. Disable or disregard: everyone knows they are a front for spying on you.
Avoid Credit Cards
Credit card companies are in cahoots with the IRS. That’s why I pay directly from my bank account: I can see the money leave right away and I don’t have to haggle with some middleman if my delivery gets hijacked.